baby it's cold outside

Last night I brought the 1950's back and put on some Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra tunes and strolled around the house in a dress and my (mucky) pink cupcake apron. I substituted the dry martini for a lychee rubicon though. Wrapping Christmas presents always puts me in the most festive, homely mood.

After a hectic day at work, running around a large 5 acre site, hijacking one of the work buggies, kissed a giant Rottweiler, put up three other Christmas trees, dealing with Security, Reception, and consultants, fighting my way through the rush hour, cooking dinner, laundry, and a general tidy up I felt like Carol Brady on a sugar rush.

This weekend I am off to peruse the Christmas markets of Brussels. Although unlikely, I'm imagining rivers of chocolate and cinnamon which I can dive into like fat little Augustus Gloop.

Where The Wild Things Are opens on Friday, so excited.

i'm just a teenager in love

I saw New Moon last night. I want to run my finger over this boy's abs and purr at him like Eartha Kitt.

That is all. I am still daydreaming.

sweet treats

Tomorrow is December.

December I will be another year older. If I was an X Factor contestant I would have to be in the over 25's category. I will have to tell people I am in my late twenties. I will be that much closer to 30. I will still get ID'd for buying cigarettes (and yet never for booze, make sense much?)

In a spur of the moment Christmas present buying frenzy I ended up buying a bunch of little nic nacs as stocking fillers, which may or may not end up in other people's stockings. Most likely not.





I have post purchase regret. I obviously had a sweet craving and should have just gotten off my arse and made myself a hot chocolate. I guess secretly I still hope to smell like a walking sweet shop. The idea of slathering my skin with vanilla cupcake scented lotion as my toasted marshmallow candle wafts that gooey sugary smell through the air...my eyeballs are practically bulging at all that sugar sweet goodness. What's diabetes?

Yesterday I found a dead rat in the bath tub AFTER I let my cat rub his head all over my face. I thought he was being cute and affectionate. I know now that inside that conniving little head he was laughing.

P.S Please feel free to buy these and send them my way in a size 6, thankyouverymuch




....the red shoes would make me feel like a 40's pin up girl. Droooool.

vamps

The world may be Cullen crazy now, but the vamp du jour "in my day" was David in The Lost Boys. I don't know why my mother let me watch this when I was 5 years old, but I'm glad she did. Watching it back now, not only do I have Kiefer Sutherland's young mug to coo over but also now their outfits.




I spy bleached stone washed jeans, leather jackets, chunky bracelets, i'm pretty sure those are some chaps he has on, and a whole lotta layering, and lord have mercy...the mullets. Praise Kiefer's platinum mullet as him and Star ride along the beach on that tinny sounding motorbike. Don't ask me what Bill S Preston Esq. is doing in this flick, but him and Keanu don't get their Wyld Stallyn groove on for another 2 years.

Edward Cullen, you and your Volvo have just had your ass kicked in the coolness factor.

welcome to your secret garden

For no reason other than I just wanted an away day out of work, I went to this spa today. It was a beautiful place with lots of ladies talking in a very soothing voice at you. I found myself saying thank you for everything, and on my best manners, as if I would wake the Spa Goddess if I didn't speak above a whisper at all times.

The most beautiful place was the lounge area, where I had a very spa like jam doughnut for breakfast and a berry smoothie.



I had a full body massage and it was awesome. Arms, legs, back, neck, even my tum-she didn't miss out anything. And then at the end she gave me an Indian Head Massage and I came out smelling beautiful and posh. My back tattoo was a great ice breaker-as I lay on the table the masseuse bubbled over it in a very non soothing masseuse way. I should be thankful for this as later on as she was working on my arm and shoulder my boob popped out from the sheet covering me and I pretended that something like a little boob poppage was far too trivial to be bothered about.
I also found myself agreeing to buy a bottle and tub of everything she had used during our session because anything else would have felt too rude.

The rest of the day was spent dunking ourselves in and out of hot jacuzzis and steam rooms like biscuits in a mug of tea. I haven't felt this lady like...ever. It's going to be tough going when I get to work tomorow and literally put on my hard hat(which we do have, next to the welding masks which I wear in the workshop when I'm pretending to be Flash Dance and the guys look at me funny) Later we sampled one of the sleep pods where yet another soothing voice welcomed us to our secret garden on a vibrating bed.

In true spa fashion I threw on a white robe as soon as I got home (catching evil glances from the cat as this is his favorite thing to nap on) and pretending that the chicken pie in the oven is in fact something healthy and green and good enough to make a face mask with.

hello you have reached the winter of our discontent...

"It's aliiive!"

Feeling a bit more human everyday. A little flammable if anything. Certainly phlegmy.

Next week is the first week of December, how is that even possible? It doesn't feel cold enough (no complaints from me though- wooooo global warming!). For the holidays we are flying up to "rural" Scotland where it will be plenty cold, with forests, winding country lanes and statues of fairies in places that I can't pronounce as I can't roll my R's. I am told it is meant to be Peter Pan, but you don't need to go to Specsavers to see that it defo more Tinkerbell than anything.

This year I think we'll skip the day trip to St Andrew's as we both came ridiculously close to hypothermia after watching some seals swim last time we were up there. In a place so cold I couldn't believe they didnt have any penguins at the Sea Life centre there...even London Zoo has penguins. And that's Zone 1 Regent's Park dude.

Although 90% recovered, perhaps my greasy, stinky sick self of last week is still lurking as never has a greasy, stinky guy appealed more.



"This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks"

So true.

Sick and Germy

I have not washed my hair for 3 days and my diet of paracetomol and Berocca means that my insides probably glow green. When I yawn at night, I light up the room.

Today is the first day all week that I've felt remotely human (a very greasy and pale looking one) As I managed to drag myself out of bed this morning, huddled under a blanket, I turned on the Good Food Channel and zoned out. When I came to, I had a craving for fluffy pancakes and cranberry scones. Subliminal messaging perhaps! Before I twinkled out, I was watching Aaron Craze: Rude Boy Food. The weirdest cooking show I've ever come across! Having 3 stars tattooed on your neck and wearing a trilby does not make you a rude boy Aaron...more like Blaaaake incarcerated. Anyway, as he sits on the beach making beetroot ice cream, whipping up some egg yolks he exclaims to the camera "make sure they're cooked, in case your girlfriend's about to drop yaknawhatimean?" Comedy gold.

Time for another Berocca and a snooze.